Leadership: What Is 4-H All About?

Isn’t 4-H just about showing farm animals and growing plants?  What does 4-H have to offer someone who lives in the city?  Organizations of 4-H across America have a great deal to offer our kids such as learning about a wide range of subjects and activities.  It is not limited to just livestock animals and agriculture, but extends to photography, public speaking, and beyond.  4-H is about meeting friends and having fun while learning.  I love this experience my youngest daughter shares.  I have watched her blossom for the past 10 years.  Hannah has learned great leadership skills in 4-H.

 

The 4-H Power of Participation

By Hannah Stewart

“A good lesson my 4-H peers have helped me learn over the years is the power and importance of participation.  I learned this lesson at a 4-H camp this past summer, when I was working as a councilor.  I have been a councilor at 4-H camp for 4 years now, and the leaders at 4-H camp have told us every year that, “If you are having fun, the kids are going to have fun!”, or “When you participate, the kids will participate!”  If you sit on the bench and play the game, they are not going to play either.  I must set the example!

At camp the staff told us to wait down by the volley ball court for them before going to lunch. When we arrived at the volley ball court, the councilors immediately sat down on the picnic table.  With nothing to do, the campers started to get restless and complain.

I said to the councilors, “Hey guys, let’s play a game?”  They all looked at me and said, “No, it’s too hot to play a game and I’m tired.”  This was ridiculous excurse because, everyone was hot and tired.  Why were we there?  It was to take care of the kids, play games, and have fun!  Even though I was tired and didn’t feel much like playing game either, the kids needed to do something!  Listening to the campers and councilors complain was not fun.

As I got all the campers attention with lots of enthusiasm I said, “Hey guys let’s play a game!”  They moaned a little bit at first, but as I started to explain the game, they got excited.  I said, “The game, ‘Bull Frog,’ is the land version of sharks and minnows.  There is one person in the middle and they shout, “Bull Frog’, and everyone tries to run across to the other side without getting tagged.  If you get tagged you stay in the middle and help the other person tag the rest of the people.  You do this until one person is left and that person is now in the middle, and the game starts over.  The campers and I played a few rounds of “Bull Frog” before some of the other councilors came to play too!  The councilors and the campers that participated had a great time playing and didn’t want to stop.  The campers weren’t very excited about playing the game at first, but once we started they had a blast!

This is the lesson I learned from my 4-H peers and leaders: you have the power to influence the camper’s level of participation!  If you encourage the campers to play the game and set the example, then the campers have fun.  And in the process, I had fun.  I never really believed them until I tried it.  It was a well learned lesson”.

“Go, Hannah, Go!” I say.  I have watched her blossom for the past 9 years that she has participated in 4-H.  I have to tell you, that even though 4-H is about learning, growing, helping, making friends, and having fun, the greatest experience kids can learn to develop is leadership.  I encourage you and your children to join a 4-H Club in your community and start encouraging your child to develop leadership skills.  It will change your lives!!!! 

Fried Ice Cream? Really?

How is it possible to fry ice cream?  While in Kansas City, my husband and I learned about and experienced a new type of desert.  This desert, fried ice cream, not only stimulated our taste buds, but provided much joy in future settings of our life together.

I well recall the evening Steve and I tasted fried ice cream for the very first time.  My husband and I lived in Grandview, Missouri.  Steve was attending the University of Missouri at Kansas City Pharmacy School and I was working as a research assistant at the University of Kansas Medical Center.  Being students we had very little cash to go out to eat, so this was a rare treat for us.

We were meeting other married pharmacy school students at Annie’s Santa Fe Mexican Restaurant near Gladstone, Missouri.  “Wow!  The parking lot is full!” said Steve on this blustery and cold winter evening.  We finally located a parking space quite a distance from the entrance.  Steve jumped out of our white 1973 Oldsmobile and jogged around to the passenger door to help me out of the car.  Bundled up in winter coats and gloves, I clung to Steve’s arm.  By the time we reached the entrance we were shaking with the zero degree temperatures.

We found our friends, sat down, ordered enchiladas, visited, and laughed.  The food was great!  “You should try fried ice cream,” said Melinda.  “Fried ice cream?  It isn’t possible!” I replied.  Melinda shared that fried ice cream is made by rolling ice cream in toasted granola and topped with whipped cream, chocolate, and a cherry.  “Yum!” I said.  Steve and I tried the desert for the first time.  Absolutely delicious!

I recall another time Steve and I had dining with my aunt and uncle.  At this time Steve and I were living in Springfield, Missouri.  Steve was a pharmacist at Consumer’s.  We were enjoying a great evening and eating supper with my Aunt Emma Lou and Uncle Floyd at the Mexican Villa on National Avenue, which is another one of our favorite restaurants.  After devouring our enchiladas, I observed the menu again.  “I wish they served fried ice cream,” I said.  Uncle Floyd looked at me in unbelief.  “Fried Ice Cream?” he asks.  Nodding my head up and down while smiling, I ask, “Yes, have you not tried it?”  He looks at me questioningly.  You could just read his thoughts.  He was thinking, “Fried ice cream is not possible.  I want to believe you, but I don’t understand.  You have to be teasing!”  We assured Floyd that fried ice cream is real. 

You see, Floyd has a history of being a big teaser.  He loves blowing situations up just to get someone to believe his tall tale.  At supper the situation turned on him.  Now he saw himself as the victim.  He was in a dilemma.  Were Steve and I telling the truth about fried ice cream or not?  Floyd wanted to believe us, if he thought we were being honest; however, he doubted.  He knew that he deserved this kind of teasing.

I have found that some people trust and others do not trust.  Why?  From what I have learned about people is that they view each situation from their perspective.  Floyd and I both, upon learning about fried ice cream, thought it impossible.  The difference being that I trusted Melinda and it was not a daily habit of mine to tease people in telling tall tales.  Floyd, on the other hand, could not trust us just from his history of telling tall tales.   

Galatians 6:7 reads, be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

The Importance Of A Positive Attitude?

The Importance Of A Positive Attitude?

Dale Carnegie said in his book, Winning Friends and Influencing People that “Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.”  There are many unhappy adults and children in this world.  Parents go to great lengths to keep their children happy by changing external conditions; rather than, encouraging a positive mental attitude.

My youngest daughter, Hannah, sees this play out everyday in babysitting, coaching gymnastics, and in other relationships in her life.  She shared some of what she has learned about external conditions and mental attitude in a college English paper she wrote.

Spoiled Children

By Hannah Stewart

“Is your child spoiled?  Spoiling a child can have serious short term and long term effects on his or her life.  Spoiled children exhibit many behavioral and social problems, such as, being mouthy, throwing a temper tantrum, failing at work, and failing in personal relationships, existing throughout their while life.

One of the effects of spoiled children is being mouthy.  Karen, a gymnastic student of mine, is constantly disrespectful.  “That one does not count.  You did not turn on your toe, “I told the five year old gymnast.  She replies, “Well, you did not see it, because I did turn on my toe!”  “I stood here and watched you, Karen.  Do not tell me that I did not see it!”  Karen defiantly said, “You do not know what you are talking about!”  Karen, I have been in gymnastics for over 10 years.  I know exactly what I am talking about!”  I turned and walked away from her.  I deal with this behavior of spoiled children daily.  Spoiled children are frustrating, challenging to be around, and disrespectful.

Spoiled children do not like to share their toys with anyone and throw temper tantrums.  For example, Joan received a toy for her birthday, a Furbie.  I have never seen this toy before, and I wanted to see how the Furbie worked.  Joan said, “No, you might break it!  Besides it is my birthday present.”  I left Joan alone, and I went to play with my toys.  At my birthday party, Joan wants to play with my new toys.  She immediately takes them out of my hands.  “Give Hannah’s toy back to her, Joan, said one of the adults.  Joan put my toy back into my hands reluctantly.  She, then, proceeds to fall on the floor screaming and beating her hands and feet on the floor.  “Nobody likes me.  I want the Furbie.”  I could not believe what happened next.  The parent asked if I would allow Joan to play with my toys.  I responded, “Well, I guess so.”  Joan looked at me and smirked.

A long term effect of spoiling a child is failing to keep a job and failing to keep friends.  These people often make bad choices and get into trouble.  “Oh, I do not feel like going to work today.”  Their parents at this time are not there to bail them out.  When they lose their job and cannot pay the rent, they might think, “I can just ask my parents for more money.”  Parents may get tired of this and finally decide to stand up to their child and say, “No, you need to find a job and keep it.”  Another long term effect is anger.  Many times these people with anger issues take it out on their wife and/or their children and co-workers.  This is very degrading, and as a result, people with anger issues fail to keep any long-term relationships.

Temper tantrums, being mouthy, and not being respectful are just a few effects of being spoiled.  Spoiled children expect to get their way; thus, the child grows into an adult with many behavioral and social issues.”

What would the results have been if the parents had taught their children to have a more positive outlook or attitude?  How different would this story have been?  Galatians 5:22-23 says, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law.

A 4-H Memory

I am celebrating 10 years of participating in Laclede County Rocket 4-H as a volunteer and leader.  It has been an amazing journey of learning about my children and me.  Not only did we build great relationships, enhance our leadership skills, have fun, learn, but made great memories. 

One year my three children enrolled in a Design Your Own Room Project.  Chris decided he wanted to decorate his room with a St. Louis Rams football theme.  We found some Rams wallpaper border.  We painted strips of blue and bold on the white wall first and the pasted the wall paper up on the wall.  It turned out to be a work of art.

                                                                           

    

Stephanie and Hannah decided to decorate with a African Savannah scene.  My oldest daughter, being the creative one, designed and painted a Baobab tree on the wall with elephants, zebras, giraffes, and lions.  She added depth to the scene by painting the tree close up and painting the animals small since they were far away.  The girls found a monkey lamp to add to the décor.

                                                                              

                                                                                
                                                                              

My youngest daughter Hannah describes her room this way in a college English class.

My Room

By Hannah Stewart

“My room is unique because it has a mural on each wall.  When I walk through, the door, I see a mural of lions lounging in the grass by a life-size tree.  As I look to the next wall there is another mural above my bed.  This mural is a tree and on a rock nearby is a lizard sunbathing.  On the wall by my window, a zebra is painted as though he is off in the distance.  I love my room because it is unique.”

The planning, the painting, the shopping for accents, and the fun we had together with the project is a great memory.  We learned about designing rooms, being creative, patience, and more.  We had so much fun in the process.  We became closer in the experience as well.

4-H improves the lives of so many people.  I wish everyone knew about this amazing program.

Our Lives Are Changing

As I listened to my husband snore, my eyes were wide open staring at the bright and beautiful moon beams shining through our bedroom window.  Racing thoughts of the previous evening’s activities and anticipating the exciting days and years ahead of us interrupted my sleep.  I gingerly arose out of bed.  “How can my husband sleep on a night like this?” I wondered.  Last evening was a milestone in our journey together and I knew in my heart that our lives would never be the same.

Tiptoeing by the table in the darkness, I glanced at the signature on the dotted line of the Team National Independent Marketer Agreements.  Teresa Stewart.  We decided to put the membership in my name.  I stepped to the window.  Staring out into the backyard, I recalled meeting Michelle at Red Lobster, meeting Bill and Bobby at our home, listening to testimonies, watching a dvd about saving money and making money, thinking about the possibilities, dreaming again, having fun, signing my name, shaking hands with our business partners, and knowing this company was an answer to my prayers!

This moment in history occurred three years ago when two amazing people shared this phenomenal company with us on August 29, 2009.  We are grateful to them for sharing with us.  I have to cheerfully say that there have been many restless and sleepless nights for me since then.  I am excited about what our Team National business is doing for us and about how it is changing our lives.

One way our Team National business has changed our lives is in providing different avenues for us to save money.  As a wife and mother, I find it important to save money.  In fact this membership helps me save thousands of dollars on everyday things my family needs.  This is huge for my family.  It is like putting money back into our bank account. 

Another way our Team National Business helps us is providing a second stream of income.  I mean, how can I not share a business that helps me to save thousands with everyone I know?  I am EXCITED to be sharing Team National and to be helping people change their lives everyday.

Being a first time business owner, I had much to learn.  There are no shortcuts on the road to success.  I counseled with my coach, Bill, each day.  He said to read personal development books and Success From Home magazines.  He said to listen to personal development and business training cd’s in my vehicle.  He said to attend the local, regional, and national events.  Everyday my life is enriched with inspiring authors and speakers.     

My coach told me to get outside of my comfort zone.  I began facing my fears.  I became more bold and confident.  I took charge of my schedule.  I became more grateful.  I rid my life of “people pleasing”.  My personal relationships strengthened and I am helping others strengthen their lives.  I am excited about life in the midst of facing challenges.  In the process I developed leadership skills.  These skills not only aid in business, but my personal life.  Who can put a price on this?

This company is about building relationships.  As a result of Team National I have met many great people.  These business partners are my best friends.  They are like family.  Again, who can put a price on this?

  

I am grateful my life has changed over the last three years.  It will continue to as I save money, earn money, grow personally, and build relationships.  I am growing everyday and want to become all that God created me to be. 

 

The Best Way

How is the best way to discipline our children?  Yelling and screaming?  Controlling?  Degrading? Or communicating effectively? Using positive encouragement?  It says in Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Through the years our youngest daughter Hannah has observed different parents raising their children.  Each has the own technique and philosophy.  Here are three different situations she tells about in a college English paper she wrote last spring semester (2013).

The Normal, The Strict, and The Weak

By Hannah Stewart

“Parents differ greatly when it comes to raising their children.  Free rein to walking a tightrope and anything in between are instances observed.  Disciplining a child properly means teaching and communicating with your child and encouraging your child; it does not mean yelling, spanking, or being strict.

“Joseph! Stop that!  Get over here!  Joseph, I said get over here now!” screamed Cathy at her eight year old son.  All of Cathy’s yelling did nothing but frustrate her and everyone around.  Parents that yell do not seem to follow through with their actions.  They yell at their child for a couple of minutes and threaten their child then give up and go back to whatever they were doing.  Or, when they follow through their child cries just to see if they can get their way and often times they do.  King Edward VIII once said, “The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way that parents obey their children.”  I definitely understand what he was talking about.  Another example, at my gym, we were having a parents’ night out, where, you could drop your children off and pay $10 each for pizza and games.  There was a little boy who repeatedly broke the rules and frustrated everyone.  When he was not listening, one of the moms asked him why he acted that way and he replied, “I just like being mean.”  Just like he was saying he liked candy.  I was a little shocked at his answer.

On the other hand, there are parents that are far too strict with their child.  For example, gymnastics, mother would not allow her daughter to stay up a little past her bedtime.  Our team was attending a meet and part of the experience was to observe upper, level gymnasts perform their routines.  Lilly could have benefited from this, but since it would have been forty-five minutes past the normal bedtime, Lilly had to miss the excitement and learning experience.  I have noticed that Lilly is very quiet around her Mother; however, Lilly was very loud and outspoken with her teammates when her mother was not around.  Perhaps, Lilly felt that she could be who she was created to be when Mother was not present.

There are parents who discipline without either technique.  Instead of yelling and degrading their child, they encourage their children to be who they are.  When the child does need instruction, it is done calmly, firmly, and gently that way the child is not embarrassed in front of their peers.  Consequences are a big part of a child’s discipline.  “Do you want to go to the birthday party tomorrow because the way you are acting right now, you will be staying at home says a mother?  You give a child a decision; to stop the bad behavior and to the birthday party or keep the bad behavior up and stay home.

Communication, encouragement, and consequences are the way to go when disciplining a child.  Parents should show love and respect when teaching their children.”

No one ever said raising children is easy, but with the Lord’s help much can be accomplished.  It says in Proverbs 22: 6 to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Get Outside Of You Box To Do Something New Everyday

Get outside of your box to do something new everyday!  My teachers have encouraged me many times throughout my life to learn by doing something new and uncomfortable.  Lately, I have come to more fully understand the meaning and benefits.  What does it mean to get outside of your box?  Why is it important to get outside of your box?  Who should get outside of their box? 

Getting outside of your box just means doing something new or something you are afraid doing.  In school students are encouraged to do this everyday.  One example was that when I was younger I played the piano in front of people I do not know at a recital. 

“Next we have Teresa.  She will be playing a song by Johan Sebastian Bach,” announced the teacher at the piano recital.  Just hearing my name caused my palms to sweat.  I stood up and walked to the piano on shaky legs.  As I sat down on the piano bench and then I placed my hands on the keyboard to begin my song, my stomach was filled with butterflies and my hands began to shake.  I loved playing the piano at home alone, but no in front of a large group of people.  I began playing my song anyway.  When I finished my song, I felt a surge on confidence rush through me.  I did it!

As a homeschool mom, I encouraged my kids many times over to get outside of their box.  By the time Hannah was ready to take her first college class she still felt uncomfortable.  Here is how she described her feeling in an English class.

  

First Day of Ozark Technical College Class

By Hannah Stewart

“Nervous was my middle name first day of class.  It was my first college class and these thoughts entered my head:  What if I fail the class?  What if I cannot find the room?  Finding the room did not take long at all, so then I was twenty minutes early.  I walked into the class room, plopped into a chair and did not talk to anyone.  During class, I was so nervous I could hardly take notes.  By the second or third class, I was not as nervous and felt more comfortable.  But that first day of class was so nerve racking for me.”

Why is it important to get outside your box?  I understand that it would have been easier not to participate in a piano recital.  I would have been more comfortable just playing the piano at home all by myself instead of the presence of people.  Hannah would have been more comfortable in just staying at home.  She would not run the risk of failing her class.  She would not run the risk of meeting people.  Notice something here.  Both of us learned something new and gained confidence in ourselves.  Being lifelong learners is important in this life.  We must keep our minds growing and active.

Who should get outside of the box?  Students, teachers, business owners, everybody should keep it in their everyday scheme of life.  Going to work and coming home to zone out in front of the television is boring.  You will not grow this way.

For me it is important to get outside my comfort zone everyday especially in my business.  I have discovered that I can accomplish more than I ever thought I could in this life.  My confidence has sky rocketed.  I love the feeling I get when I catch myself doing something that used to make me feel insecure and now I am performing the task without even thinking about it.  I think, “Wow!  Is that me?!”  This growth helps me to be the best business partner I can be.

Lastly and most important is that I want to become all that God created me to become.  Can I do this without getting outside of my comfort zone?  Probably not.  There is one thing I know and that is God is with me helping me do that he wants of me. It says in Isaiah 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”