The Perfect Dress

Every bride to be desires the perfect dress for her once in a life time special day.  The dress must be the right shade of white or color, the right style to fit the shape of the bride, and the dress must be comfortable.  Will the bride find the dress at the first location or after searching several locations?  How many opinions will she need to hear before she knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that she has found the perfect dress?  No one knows the answers to these questions.  The certainty is that the bride will persevere in her quest to find the perfect dress.

After Stephanie’s announcement of her engagement to be married in the fall, a trio of us began the search for the perfect wedding dress.  Every dress Stephanie tried on was unique and beautiful.  Every store had exquisite dresses.  Not every dress reflects the specialness and uniqueness of Stephanie’s personality as with any bride to be.

Initially the search party consisted of Stephanie, Hannah, and me.    Later three of Stephanie’s best friends joined the search team: Hannah, Nicole, and Jennifer.  We all had a BLAST searching for the perfect dress!!! 

We drove to Norman’s Bridal, The Dress, David’s Bridal, Karl’s Tuxedo’s, and more businesses in downtown and south Springfield.  The shops were filled with dresses from lacey and poufy to simple and elegant.  Stephanie modeled different dresses to observe the feel and look of each dress.

                                                           This dress is too white.

                                                          This dress is too feathery.

                                                  This dress is too mermaid looking.

                              This dress is too fluffy (Actually, Nicole calls this dress Swan Lake.)

                                  

                                                             This dress is too lacey

                                                            This dress is too black.

                                                                               

                                                         This dress is too shapeless.

                                                                        

                                               This dress is follow by too much of a train.

                                                                              

After many hours on different days of searching these five ladies and I were becoming tired.  A lunch and rest to revive us and we were ready to continue our quest for the right dress.  And wonder of wonder and miracle of miracles Stephanie said, “This is the dress!  This is the one!”  She just knew in her heart and so did the rest of us. 

This dress is just right: the right shape, the right shade of white, the right amount of lace, and the dress is comfortable.

“Ring-a-ding-ding” went the bell as Stephanie shook it up and down.  She was smiling a huge beautiful smile.  As a mother I must say that seeing Stephanie’s beautiful smile was worth all the hours spent in locating the perfect dress.  It was more than just finding the perfect dress.  It was about time spent together with my daughters and her friends.  It was about making a cherished memory to be enjoyed for years to come.

For me there are times I find it difficult to live in the moment.  I am either remembering the past and wishing to go back or looking toward the future and trying to anticipate what could happen.  When I do this, I miss the special moments in my life.  It is my goal to truly feel and enjoy the present moments.  I am so very grateful to be experiencing these moments with my daughter. 

Frog Legs or Chicken Pegs?

Most people will agree with me when I say that my husband, whom I love very much, is an ornery man who loves to tease people.  It is a sort of twisted pleasure of his. 

It was the spring of 1986.  Steve and I were excited.  We were excited about accomplishing our goals.  We both had worked hard and diligently for 3 years.  Steve was near completion of his senior year of Pharmacy School at the University of Missouri Kansas City (UMKC).  It was time to celebrate our accomplishments.  We are grateful UMKC provided several opportunities to honor the pharmacy students with celebrations.

The class of 1986 was invited to Kaufman Stadium by Marion Labs to eat at the restaurant there.  We went along with the class and sat with Melinda and Hamid Abdanan.  They were serving us at our table with appetizers.  One of the appetizers looked suspiciously like frog legs.  I picked it up, sniffed of it to see if it had a wild game smell, started to eat it, and stopped.  Steve, “I asked.  What is this?”  He replied, with a smile and raised eyebrows, “Peg legs which is part of a chicken wing”.  I did not believe him. 

In the meantime our friend Melinda had a big mouthful of chicken peg leg.  “I said do not eat that?  It is frog legs!”   Pluh, pluh, pluh!  Melinda spit out all the food in her mouth onto her plate.  Steve and Hamid got a really good laugh out of that one. 

I still did not believe him so we called the waiter over to our table.  Holding up one of the pieces of chicken, Steve asked, “What is this?”  The waiter, looking confused, said, “Chicken, Sir.”  Steve looked at me and smiled in satisfaction.

Grrrr!  Steve was right!  Deep down in my heart, I knew Steve was telling the truth about the chicken.  I can not imagine him not telling the truth but the coy smile and raised eyebrows threw me off. 

I felt a little embarrassed that Melinda spit the chicken out due to my warnings.  The four of us looked at each other and busted out laughing.  

William Arthur Ward said, “To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.” 

Buddy's Mouse

Steve was a pharmacy student, and I was a research assistant in the Kansas City area in the middle 80’s.  Even though we missed our families greatly, it was an amazing learning experience for both of us to learn to depend upon each other more and more. Our relationship through our experiences strengthened as a result.  Even though we were studying and working hard, we found ways to laugh every day. 

Once in a great while we would shop for clothes, cookware, books, and appliances at the Bannister Mall near Grandview, Missouri.  On this particular day we were browsing in a toy shop, when my eye caught a life size fury little mouse.  I gasped, “Steve look at this.  It looks so real!”

“It does for sure!” agreed Steve.

“I have an idea!  Remember how Buddy is afraid of the mice in the milk barn?”  Steve shook his head yes.  “And you know how messy he is.  Let’s buy this mouse.  The next time we visit my family, we can place it strategically somewhere to startle Buddy.”

Laughing, we staggered to the check out counter to purchase our little pet.  The clerk with dancing brown eyes and a wide grin took our money and put our mouse in a small brown paper bag.  She knew what we were up to. 

As we left the mall, the wheels in my mind began turning round and round.  Where would we leave the mouse?  How will we slightly hide the mouse without being seen?  Steve and I brained stormed different ideas. 

“I know just what to do!  Remember how Buddy and Dad arrive home with hot bologna sausage, crackers, cheese, soda, bananas, and other snacks from the small convenience/package store nearly every Saturday afternoon?  Both of them devour the fatty food and love every bite. They are so messy on that counter leaving all the food and wrappers out scattered all over the place.  It becomes one jumbled up heap!” I reminded Steve as he smiled at me with ornery twinkling eyes.  “The advantage is planting our little fury friend in the mess.  I can just see Buddy moving from the sink to the counter to the refrigerator and back.  After he leaves the counter area to sit at the kitchen table, I can prepare a small snack for us and nonchalantly put the mouse in the mess.  After I leave the kitchen at some point Buddy will go back for second helpings.  I would bet on it!”

“Great idea!” exclaimed Steve

We wanted so desperately to observe Buddy’s reaction, when he bumps into our fury friend.  What would his reaction be? Over the course of a few weeks I play different scenarios in my mind anticipating over and over again my brother’s reaction, when he finds the mouse.  Would he jump in the air, back off, or yell?    

Finally, Steve and I acquired time away from school and work to travel to the Bolivar, Missouri area to visit our families.  Just as planned Buddy and Dad came home with hot bologna and all the fixings on that Saturday afternoon.  I watched Buddy devour a banana and throw the peeling on the counter in the midst of meat, crackers, wrappings, and other food items.  Perfect!  Buddy picked up his plate and left the counter while I sauntered to the counter.  I discretely removed the mouse from my sweater pocket and placed the mouse on the banana peel as if the mouse were eating the peeling.

Picking up my plate I went to the table to sit down, to eat, and to observe. 

The moment I sat down Buddy rose from the table saying, “I need some mustard on my sandwich!”  Carelessly he set his plate on the counter, opened the refrigerator door with an arm load of mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise.  I heard the refrigerator close.  Buddy took two steps to the counter coming to a halt, and then he threw his arms in the air almost dropping the containers of condiments.  His mouth dropped!  He screeched! 

I could hold the laughter inside no longer.  I had the privilege observing his reaction.  It was all I had expected.  Buddy gave me first a startled look, followed by a frustrated, and an angry look.  He then busted out laughing.  Dad and Mom looked and asked, “What is going on?”

Buddy says, “Sis just tried to give me a heart attack with this mouse,” as he picked it up by the tail.

Mom and Dad go to the kitchen counter to look.  “What a joke!” they chuckled. 

Reminiscing upon this fond memory of connecting with my family through laughter, I realize just how blessed my life has been.  I knew this little joke would bring joy and laughter to all, especially to me.  As the years fly by I understand more the importance of being someone with the type of spirit that lifts others up everyday.  It doesn’t have to be a joke.  It can be a smile reflecting a joyful and happy heart. 

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…

Imagine If They Could Talk?

Watching our children grow was a blessing and a joy each day in many ways.  Imagination is one aspect that was always fun and interesting.  We encouraged the cultivation of their imagination.

“Aaaahhhhh, Mom!  I thought my cowboy was really talking to me!” Chris exclaimed.  We both looked at each other and laughed.  I walked over to the shelf to place Mr. Cowboy gently on top.  “It is fun to pretend, isn’t it?  Wouldn’t it be cool if Mr. Cowboy could talk?” smiling, I asked. 

I replayed the whole scenario in my mind.  While a 4 year old Chris was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and talking animatedly with his father, I scrunched in between the wall and his bed.  I was lying on the floor waiting for his arrival.  Listening, I heard Chris’ little feet skipping down the hall.  Pitter pat pat.  As he entered his room, his skipping suddenly stopped.  I could only imagine the surprised look on his sweet little face, when he saw the cowboy standing on his bed and talking to him.  I walked the cowboy forward on the bed and said, “Hey, Chris, how are you doing, tonight?  We had fun today didn’t we?”

Kids have vivid imaginations.  In fact, my kids had such vivid imaginations that their toys seem to be real.  “Mom, I think I saw Barbie move!” or “Dad, my lion just swished his tale back and forth!” or “Let’s use this box as a car!”  To imagine something is to think a situation could actually happen no matter how “out there” it could be.  We encouraged our children to pretend everyday.

Albert Einstein once said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”  People should imagine the impossible everyday.  This creating, writing, designing, and inventing are all the results of healthy imaginations.  Creative thoughts or imagination bring about knowledge to us.

Facing My Fears

Seeking a job to cover our cost of living expenses, developing new friendships, obtaining prescription transfers, traveling in big city traffic, and being hours from our home are some of the fears I faced.  In June of 1983 Steve and I relocated to the Kansas City, Missouri area.  All of us have felt fears at sometime during our lives to some degree.       

The first fear was searching for an apartment.  I had allowed well-meaning friends and loved ones to plant seeds of doubt.  “It is not safe in Kansas City.  I sure hope you find a secure place.”  Steve and I traveled to Grandview, which is a suburb of Kansas City.  We looked at several different apartments; some apartments we definitely did not want to rent; others apartments we may want to rent; and lastly one we definitely did want to rent. 

The apartment we decided to rent was a one bedroom domain with a fairly large living room, kitchen and dining room area, and bathroom in the Briarwood Apartment Complex on the ground level.  I particularly liked the huge sliding glass doors, because I enjoy a lot of sunlight.  Most importantly, I was grateful to feel safe.

Another fear was leaving a land with which I was familiar to a land of unknown.  A few days after we found our apartment, we loaded up two pickup trucks and our two cars with our furniture and belongings.  We were grateful to Steve’s brother in law and sister, Wayne and Jane, and my mother and brother, Buddy, for helping us on moving day.    

The following Sunday we found a church to attend, Good Hope Missionary Baptist Church located at 48^th and Wabash.  We are grateful to have found a church to call home. 

On Monday my husband left for pharmacy school.  I was left alone in our apartment.  I was afraid to go out by myself. I had plans to pick up groceries at the nearby Safeway and transfer a prescription to the pharmacy in that shopping center.  Having never traveled through a huge city, I was challenged.  I made a few wrong turns attempting to cross over highway 71, but I figured it out. 

One fear I never crossed my mind was meeting rude people.  I stopped at the pharmacy to transfer a prescription.  It felt like the pharmacy technician glared at me.  “We cannot transfer this prescription without a written prescription from your doctor!” she said.  My stomach began to knot up as I left the pharmacy.

I picked up groceries and found my way back to our apartment.  At least the grocery store welcomed my check to pay for the groceries. 

“I just feel so unwelcome in this city.” I told Steve.  We had time to travel back to the pharmacy to obtain the prescription. The technician I spoke with must have been having a bad day and was confused. This time we were able to get the prescription.

Finding a job was another fear.  The next day I began searching for a job.  I called businesses, filled out applications, and interviewed for several days.  During this process I got lost in this huge city several times; but to my surprise people were friendly and helpful.  It felt frustrating, but looking back I was learning everyday.

Facing these fears everyday began affecting me.  My stomach began to hurt and hurt.  The pain occurred more and more and became more and more intense.  On one particular morning while Steve was dressing for school, I said, “Steve, I may have to make an appointment to go to the doctor.  This pain just won’t go away and I don’t know what it is.  I don’t want to, because we don’t have the money.”  Steve said, “You have to take care of yourself.  Perhaps, you should just stay home and rest today!” 

After Steve left, I thought, “I have a job interview that I will not reschedule.  I must be there.”  In the shower I prayed, “Lord, how am I going to be able to get through the interview?”  Suddenly, I thought came to me, “Just pretend you feel great!”   I began saying out loud, “I feel wonderful!  I feel energetic and healthy!  I am happy!  My stomach does not hurt!”

I continued this all the way to the destination for the job interview.  I met, spoke, and toured the lab facilities.  I enjoyed talking with the people there.  I traveled home and began preparing supper.  I realized at supper that my stomach was no longer hurting.

The next day my stomach was not hurting.  I felt so much better.  What was it?  Steve and I decided that I was just stressed, since I was in a big city with no friends and/or relatives, and without a much needed job.  It was a new experience all together.

Think about it.  My fear was all in my mind.  My fear produced stress and it caused my stomach to ache.  Once I decided to face these fears and in my mind to tell myself how I was going to feel, my situation changed.  Amazing!

Over time I did find an awesome lab research assistant job at the Kansas University Medical Center working and learning with some interesting and great people.  I learned my way around without getting lost in the big city.  I made many friends.  In fact, living in Kansas City was an amazing growing experience for Steve and me.  We are thankful. 

Someone wise once said, “Face the fear you fear the most and death of the fear is certain!”

Outrageous!!

Who wears lime green boots?  Who spends hours acting out stories with GI Joe action figures and Barbie Dolls?  Who enjoys the experience of wadding through mud puddles?  Sound a little crazy?  It is definitely out of the ordinary and unpredictable.    Doing something outrageous was fun and has created great memories for me.

As the rain pelted down, Hannah and I dashed into the 4-H Extension Office one rainy late summer afternoon.  Shaking water off of ourselves we heard, “Where did you get those bright, lime green boots?  Those boots look like they could be 4-H boots!” a 4-H leader and friend asks.  Smiling Hannah says, “Yep, it is the reason I chose this color for my boots!”  We all laughed together.  Wearing dark blue jeans and green 4-H T-shirt with green boots to set her attire off, Hannah beamed with green.  At that moment more 4-H friends entered the Extension Office commenting on her boots. 

After taking care of business, we left the office where a huge puddle of water had formed in the parking lot.  What did Hannah do?  What is the most obvious and fun activity to do after a nice rain?  Yes, wade directly through the middle of the puddle.  “See this is another purpose for wearing my boots, today!” she exclaims with glee.  She and her friends laugh more.

This little incident brought back a memory from my past.  I was 7 years old.  Watching the sky become dark and a cloudburst of rain hit the ground, my brother and I were excited.  We played with GI Joe action figures and Barbie dolls pretending all sorts of scenarios with the loud and stormy weather.  The rain and the play occurred for hours until finally the rain stopped and the sun burst forth in its brilliance.  Looking out the window, I said, “Look at that huge puddle in the driveway!”  “Wow!” exclaimed my brother.  “Wouldn’t that be fun to wade through?  Let’s go ask Dad and Mom.”

Running through the house we found our Dad and Mom in the family room reading the Sunday newspaper.  “Dad, Mom, can we go outside to walk around and to walk through mud puddles?” I asked.  Our mom distractedly replied, “Sure.”  We scurried to retrieve our rubber boots. 

Running out the back door, we laughed with glee.  We, first, walked through the front and back yard observing how beautiful and greener the plants were.  We waded through small puddles gradually working our way up to wading through bigger and bigger puddles.  We arrived facing the huge puddle.  “Wow, I wonder how deep this one is?” asked my brother pointing to the enormous puddle.  “I don’t know, but I am going to find out.  Let’s go.”  We slowly waded through.  Each step we took lowered us a little deeper into the muddy water.  Each step splashed dirty water on us.  The water was up to the tops of our knee high boots.  We just kept walking back and forth in the puddle and splattering muddy water all over us.  “I love it!” my brother exclaimed.  We laughed and laughed, while whooshing back and forth. 

At that moment we heard our mother’s frustrated voice in the screen window.  “Bill, just look at our kids out there in the mud puddle!  They are covered in mud from head to toe!”  I looked at my brother.  I looked at myself.  I had not realized just how much dirt we splashed on ourselves!  “You kids get yourselves in here right now!” ordered our mother.  Our mother met us at the back door.  She asked, “What were you doing?  What were you thinking?”  I said, “We asked you if we could wade in puddles.  Remember?”  My mother replied, “Yes, but I didn’t think you would get so dirty.  I didn’t say you could do that!”

We were in a little bit of trouble; however, it was worth it.  What kid, young or old, can resist wading through puddles?  It had been a great rainy day for us indoors and outdoors.

     

Getting Better

“Congratulations!” said a college classmate of mine.  “I am so proud of you!” said friends of family members.  I graduated from Southwest Baptist University in 1978 earning a Bachelor of Science in Biology with special emphasis in Chemistry and General Science.  I was excited about teaching biology at Morgan County R-II Schools.  I knew I would be starting a new career, but at the same time I thought, “Whew, I can finally stop studying so much.”  Little did I understand that when I stop growing, I could not grow into a person of character and I could not help others as successfully. 

It didn’t take long for my life to get stuck in a rut.  As a student in school I was growing and learning everyday.  Even though I continued to learn from my students to a certain extent, my personal growth had ceased.  In fact any growth I obtained was accidental instead of intentional.

The rut I had fallen into was planning to start tomorrow rather than insisting on starting today.  I wanted personal growth to occur, but I was not taking responsibility for my personal growth everyday.  I was learning from my mistakes.  How would me life had been if I had learned before my mistakes? 

I see where I was a hard worker, I persevered many times, I followed through with my commitments, and I did like learning.  Looking back once in a great while I would read personal development books, but never consistently.

Here is the deal.  For the past three years I have dedicated myself to constantly improving myself.  I read and listen to personal development books and cd’s everyday.  I, also, include attending events to listen to inspiring speakers.  All of this is done in correlation with studying the Bible.  It has changed my life.

Many times I find myself accomplishing things that used to scare me.  Today, I confidently speak and do things without a thought.  I become excited when I realize that I have grown.  It is an awesome feeling and I love it.

As time marches on I realize that I am not just getting older, I am getting better.