With or Without?

How do you like to spend your vacations with relatives and friends or to get away from relatives and friends?  This was a question I was asked recently at a Toastmaster Meeting.

I have had the blessing of taking several vacations.  Most vacations are taken with my husband and three children.  We have a blast on the Florida beaches, at the top of a lighthouse, in the Blue Spring Park walking through the lush vegetation, at the St. Louis Cardinals Spring Training game, and more.  While we enjoy these activities, we are meeting people and making new friends either in Florida or new friends traveling to Florida who is on vacation, too.  In fact, we exchange phone numbers, email address, or Facebook.  There have been a few times we find time to see each other again. 

One vacation we traveled to Breckinridge, Colorado to visit my family.  We spent the whole week renewing our friendship, reminiscing about past times together, and making more memories.  It was a glorious time together climbing 12,000 foot mountains, shopping, eating great food, panning for gold, and identifying star constellations while on top of a mountain.   

I have the best of both kinds of vacations.  I love vacationing and meeting new friends and I love vacationing with my distant family.  Earl Nightingale said, “Learn to enjoy every minute of your life.  Be happy now.  Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future.  Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family.  Every minute should be enjoyed and savoured.”

The Evils of Drinking

There are all kinds of ways communication happens such as telephone conversations, emailing, letters delivered by the pony express, Facebook, texting, and so forth.  Each form has their purpose.  Even though face to face conversations like the look you in the eye kind, are best, people, many times, will text instead.

Text messaging does not provide all the elements of communication.  Someone could send a message saying, “I am happy!”  How happy?  Are they really happy?  Are they being sarcastic?  You see, a great deal of communication is not expressed here.  You don’t hear voice inflection and body language.  Of course, a type of smilie face can be inserted to help this, but the twinkles in people’s eyes are missing.

People need not be slack in checking their spelling of words in text messages.  Misspelled words can change the whole meaning of a sentence.  My husband and I exchanged text messaging one evening that was misunderstood.  It was hilarious!

We (Christopher, Hannah, and I) stopped by our Sonic Drive Inn here in Lebanon, Missouri to purchase a treat of fountain drinks before picking Steve up from the pharmacy.  We were going to Wednesday evening services at Bethel Missionary Baptist Church.  It was 7 o’clock as we pulled into Smitty’s parking lot.  As I moved the gear to park, I heard, “Bllllllink!”  I love the blink sound, because it means that someone is sending me a text.  “It’s Steve!” I said laughing.  Here is how the conversation went.

Steve:  “I am almost finished.  Where are you?”

Me:  “I am in the lit.”

Me:  “We have drinks!”

Me:  Sent a series of diffferent smilie faces such as happy, winking, sunglasses, etc…

Smiling, Steve hops in the car and says, “You all must be having a wonderful time of it?”  “What?” I ask.  Steve says, “In your text messages you said that you are lit and have drinks!”  I laughed, “What are you talking about?”  Steve shows me the conversation on his phone.  It looked so different from the truth of the situation

I became lazy in my typing of the word, “lot”.  I saw the typo, but I thought Steve will know what I mean.  I left out the word, Sonic.  I was feeling really happy and I like smilie faces, which is why I decided to include so many of them.

This texting conversation became quite different from my intentions due to carelessness

on my part.  Even though we all had a good laugh, I realized just how important it is to take the extra time to communicate properly.

“Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.”  Proverbs 6:6

   

Night of Blessings

Life is full of blessings in the most unexpected ways.  The blessing could be running into an old friend at the grocery store, listening to a song sung by your favorite artist, a message in a fortune cookie, and so forth.  Could there possibly be a blessing in having no electricity?  Thomas Edison please help us! 

“Somebody, please turn the lights on,” ordered Chris as he stepped into the front door.    

“They are not working,” replied Hannah.

 “Do the neighbors have electricity?” asked Steve. 

“I don’t think so,” I said.

I walked out the front door and down the white chat driveway to get a better look at the neighbor’s home.  As I neared the woods between our homes, I notice how dark and forbidding they were.  My imagination kicked in.  “What is there is a wild animal ready to pounce on me?  What if something is behind me?” said the voices.  “Enough!  I am not scared,” I said to control my thought process.  I calmly turned around to walk back to our home. 

By the time I reached the front door I heard Steve on the phone with the utility company.  There was a substation outage.  We would be without electricity for a time.  It reminded me of the ice storm of January 2007, when we were without power for 12 days, only this time it the middle of the summer, July 2013,

Steve, Chris, and Hannah each found flashlights and candles.  I began digging in my purse for my cell phone thinking that I am so glad it has a full charge.  Chris and Hannah were restlessly wandering through the house with their flashlights and Steve was feeding our five cats and a dog.

 “Please don’t shine the light in my eyes.  It is giving me a headache.” I pleaded. 

“Oh, sorry, Mom” they both said.  Accidentally one of my lovely children shined the light in my eyes again.  What was Steve doing outside anyway?  I decided to check on him.

Steve was sitting on the back porch with Nanook, our American Eskimo dog, sitting faithfully by his side.  Two black cats meowed as if to say,

“Please, stroke my back!”  I petted one, “Sam, is this you?”  I asked because it was difficult to detect in the dark.  I found a chair.

 “It is a beautiful night!” I said looking around. 

Suddenly, it seemed like the light turned on, but as I looked inside the huge bay window I saw that the light had not come on yet.

 “Is that the moonlight?  It is so bright!  Just look at it streaming through the trees.  It’s beautiful.” I exclaimed. 

“Yes, it will be a full moon in five days!” informed my detail oriented husband!

Steve and I reminisced about past family fun times until it felt like the mosquitoes and chiggers were getting the best of me.  This time, when I entered the family room, Chris and Hannah had finally settled down to playing a card game of Rummy with happy music playing on the cd player.  Thank God for batteries.  Steve joined me on the couch, as we watched the card game.  We, all of us, reminisced some more laughing quietly. 

Suddenly, the light in the entryway popped on.  “Oh, that scared me!” exclaimed Hannah.  “Oh, I didn’t want this to end!  It was fun playing cards by candle light and listening to music.”  “It doesn’t have to end!” said Chris.  The two continued to play for a few more minutes to finish out the game.

I just have to say that it has been a great day filled with love and laughter.  The only thing that could have made it better was for Stephanie and Jeff to be here with us.  We have had many cherished moments with them as well.  How many times I have taken times like this for granted?  How many times have I not appreciated the laughter just not thinking?  God created laughter and joy.  He gives us life and special moments with loved ones.  I now treasure them more than ever

Adding

“How can you make a mistake like this?  You are so dumb!”  Harsh words, such as these, are spoken many times by thoughtless and careless people.  My friends, it is my conviction that one of the most important things we can do to help people is to add value to their life.

There is power in encouragement.  This encouragement could be everything in someone’s life.  It builds people up and it makes them strong.  It makes them want to continue on instead of quitting. 

How can we encourage others?  There are many ways.  For example, the words we speak to people can be a blessing or a curse.  Instead of saying you are so stupid for making a mistake, how much more encouraging would it be to say, “It is okay.  We all make mistakes, just learn from your mistake and press on.”

Another way we can add value to people is to give them our full attention, when they are speaking to us.  We must look at the person speaking, not at your cell phone text message.  Focus on what this person is saying, not what you are going to say next.

We have opportunities during the course of our day to smile and say, “Thank you.”  When I was shopping at a business, an unhappy hostess began taking my order.  I could see a frown and perhaps even a tear was quickly wiped from her cheek.  As she completed my order, I smiled and said, “You did a great job.  I appreciate what you did for me!  Have a great day!”  This hostess smiled back at me in surprise and said, “You are welcome!”

Encouraging others takes effort.  We have to be intentional.  Being encouraging is a lot like crafting a musical instrument, such as a guitar.  The finest wood is carefully chosen, a blue print of the design is drawn, varnish is gently stroked onto the instrument, and so forth.  The whole process is thought out just the way we should think about the words we speak. 

It’s funny, but I find that when I add value or encourage other I feel better about myself.  I see others fell better about themselves, too.  Our son, Chris is a lifeguard.  His job is to watch and be aware of any possible dangers swimmers may encounter while swimming in the pool.  On one such day a dad and his 4 year old son climbed out of the swimming pool.  The dad said to his son, “Micah, stand right here beside me.  Do not get back into the pool.   We will get back in, but I want to talk with my friend for a moment.”  The son nodded his head saying yes.  The son grew impatient waiting for his dad and jumped into the pool barely making a splash.  The dad was unaware and continued his conversation.  Chris saw the son jump in and immediately dived into the pool.  Chris picked the son up out of the water sitting him on the side of the pool splashing water everywhere.  At that time the dad heard the water and looked around to see what was causing all the uproar.  When the dad saw it was his son, he gasped.  The dad said, “Oh my goodness!  I didn’t know he jumped in!  Oh my goodness!  I appreciate what you did for me, Chris.  My son may not be here at this moment if it wasn’t for you!  Thank you!”

Chris came home grinning from ear to ear.  He shared the whole story!  I said, “Look at you!”  Chris get paid for adding value to people.  How awesome is that?

Let’s develop a habit of adding value to others and encouraging them everyday.

Dale Carnegie said, “You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of the world’s happiness now.  How?  By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged.  Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.”

  

Making Memories and Having Fun: Five and Dime Store Experiences

 One bright sun shiny spring day my husband and I wrapped up a business appointment

in Branson, Missouri.  “Do you want to shop a bit at Dick’s Five and Dime before we

head home?” my husband asked.

     “Sure,” I replied.  As I stepped into Dick’s Five and Dime Store, a flood of sweet

memories came to my mind and filled my heart with gladness.  Visions of our three

children running up and down the isles looking at the toys and even visions of my own

childhood experiences in other Five and Dime Stores in Bolivar and Buffalo, Missouri

brought smiles to my heart. Five and Dime Stores, being a popular type of business in the

60’s, provided fun learning experiences and provided the means in making memories for

my family. 

      

     Many times our mother would take us to the Five and Dime Store in Bolivar, Missouri

to pick up Household items and undoubtedly we ended up in the toy section.  “I think I

want a kite today.  I want a set of jacks?  Oh, Mom, look at this felt marker set!”  The

shopping experience created as much fun as playing with our new toys and gadgets. 

These toys and gadgets, also, provided my brother and I with many great fun learning

experiences. 

     We bought clay in a package of four square bars in red, yellow, green, and blue.  We

would mold the clay in animal shapes, dish shapes, flower shapes, and more.  Mixing the

colors together was a great experience, too. 

     Over the years we bought many different simple toys such as a jump rope, a set of

jacks and kites.  We even purchased school supplies each fall.

     The most fun Five and Dime experience I had was one warm summer afternoon.  My

younger brother and I along with our mother sat waiting in the car for my dad.  Time

seemed to drag on and on watching for our father to complete a business transaction with

a local business owner in Buffalo, Missouri.  I observed the different stores on the city

square such as a bank, a clothing shop, a barber shop, a five and dime store, and jewelry

store.  “Mom, can we go look around in the dime store?” I asked.  “Well, I

don’t know.  Your Dad will probably be out soon and then we can pick up some

groceries,” replied my Mom.  “Please?” my brother and I cried in unison.  Our mother

looked at the store assessing the store and the distance from where we were parked.

“Well, okay.  Here is twenty-five cents.  Why don’t you buy you and your brother a bag

of candy?”  “Oh that sounds great!” 

     Excitedly, I jumped out of the car with the quarter in hand.  As I stepped into the store,

I observed long counters upon counters of penny candy.  In fact, I had never seen so

much candy in all of my 9 years!  Pixie Sticks, Jolly Ranchers, Laffy Taffy, Sweet Tarts,

Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddies, Double Bubble Bubble Gum, Jaw Breakers, and other

kinds of candy to fill our bag with.  What does a Pixie Stick taste like?  And Sweet Tarts? 

I glanced back out at the car questioningly.  My brother anxiously peered out of the car at

me anticipating what I was choosing for both of us.  There was only one way to find out

and that was to try different candies.  I filled our bag with two of each kind of candy I

thought my brother and I would like to eat.  The quarter bought a lot of candy for two 7

and 9 year old kids to devour!

     Arriving to the car, my brother opened the back door for me.  We poured the bag of

candy onto the back seat.  “Oh!  Ah!  What is this?  Let’s try the Pixie Sticks first?”  The

little grains were a taste bud treat of sweet and sour all at the same time!  “Let’s don’t eat

too much!  We don’t want to make ourselves sick.”  Over the course of the next two days

my brother and I consumed the twenty-five cent bag of candy.  We thoroughly enjoyed

ourselves.  After the experience, every time we traveled to Buffalo, Missouri we bought a

bag of penny candy. 

     Five and Dime Stores provided fun learning experiences and memories for my

family.  As Benjamin Benii once said, “We didn’t realize we were making memories, we

just knew we were having fun.”  

Our First Date On The Square

“Mom, where did you and Dad go?” Stephanie’s demanding tone called for my attention.  

     I turned around to look into our oldest daughter’s big dark brown eyes, for her

question did not make any sense.

     “Go?” I asked scrunching my eyebrows.

     “Would you describe your first date with dad?” she prodded.  “Did you know dad

would be the one you would marry?”

     “Oh, I see,” I smiled.

     “Yes, Mom, pleeaasssse, tell us!” chimed in our younger two children, Christopher

and Hannah, emphatically.

     At that moment my eyes wandered from Stephanie to Christopher to Hannah and to

Steve.  When I cast my eyes on Steve, our eyes locked together in a sweet and precious

memory we will share forever and ever.

     I sat down at the table with my family and began telling the story….

     Standing in front of the mirror of my room, I breathed in deeply in an attempt to calm

my swiftly beating heart.  I could feel it pounding in my ears.  “This is ridiculous!” I

scolded myself.  I softly walked to my desk in my room and sat down.  I opened a book

and began reading.  This would distract my racing thoughts and calm me.  I read a full

page and I didn’t even know what I read.  Shaking my head from side to side, I closed the

book.

     At the moment I heard the rumble of a car motor and the crinkle of gravel as tires

rolled. As I peered out of my upstairs window, a burgundy 1976 Pontiac Grand Prix

slowly drove past and stopped by the front gate.  Polly, our English shepherd barked as if

to say, “You do not belong here.  Who do you think you are?” 

     Steve opened the heavy and huge door of the car and stepped out.  Polly kept barking

and Steve, ignoring the dog, slowly walked to the front door.  I heard my mother open the

squeaky front door.  I heard her say, “Hi Steve!  Come on in and sit down.  Teresa will be

down in a minute.” 

     I took a deep breath and pretended not to be anxious by bouncing down the stairs.  I

stepped into the living room where Steve was sitting on the couch and my mom sitting on

the recliner.  “Hi!” I said smiling and pretending not to feel awkward I sat down in our

rocker.  We talked for a short time.  My mom joked that we were going out on her

birthday, July 7, 1979.

     Steve said, “Are you ready?  We better hit the road if we are going to make the 7

o’clock showing.” 

     We were traveling to Springfield to the Fox Theatre on the square to see “The Apple

Dumpling Gang Rides Again” staring Don Knotts.  He was always one of my favorite

actors. 

     I stepped out the front door with Steve behind me.  He followed me to the passenger

side of his car and opened the door for me.  After I sat down inside the white interior of

the Grand Prix he gently slammed the door and quickly walked to the driver’s side of the

door.  He started the car and backed up to turn the car around and then we traveled the

long gravel driveway to the blacktop highway.  We turned south on C traveled to D

highway into Bolivar and onto highway 13 to Springfield.

     Since the summer evening was hot and humid, Steve cranked the air conditioner to

full throttle blasting us with cool air.  As we drove along in silence I observed how

bright, green, and beautiful the vegetation was with the setting sun casting streams of

golden light.

     “How was your day?” Steve asked. 

    

     I began sharing about my activities and asked Steve about his day.  We talked all the

way.  We talked about college, church, work, and goals setting.  At the time I was

biology/chemistry/general science teacher at Nixa RII School District.  Steve had

completed an Bachelor of Arts’s degree in history and was currently working at Wood’s

Supermarket in Buffalo, Missouri. 

     As Steve drove around the square in Springfield, I looked around.  The square had

always intrigued me such as people out walking, the middle park, and the tall Heers

building.  We parked the car on Water Street parking lot,.  We both got out of the car and

walked up Booneville Street to the Fox Theatre on the northeast corner of the square. 

There was a fairly long ticket line, but it was moving fairly fast.  Steve handed the clerk a

twenty dollar bill picked up the change and the two tickets.  As we walked into the

theatre, I admired the large polished stone pillars and red cloth seats.  It was the most

beautiful movie theatre I had ever been in.  We found an empty row of seats 1/3 of the

way from the movie screen.  It wasn’t long until others joined in sitting beside us.  It was

a packed house.

     We watched previews and finally the movie started.  Don Knotts and Tim Conway

were as hilarious as ever.  Steve and I both laughed and laughed.  About half way through

the movie Steve placed his arm around me.  Thirty minutes later I wondered if his arm

was going to grow tired.  Sure enough he began moving his arm back on forth.  I knew

circulation was slowing and causing a pin prickling and tingling sensation the one gets

when their arm feels like it is going to sleep.  I smiled and I laughed a little on the inside. 

Steve never moved his arm.  The movie was over all too soon.

     We waited for some of the people to clear out before we left the theatre.  When there

was a loll we stood up and walked out.  As we stepped out onto the street Steve put his

arm around me again.  He opened the car door for me again.  He walked around and got

into the car.  I put my seatbelt on and waited for Steve to start the car.  Steve put the keys

into the ignition and turned the keys to start the motor.  Just as fast as he turned the keys

to start the car, he turned the keys back to stop the car.  I thought, “What?”  Steve turned

toward me and began leaning toward me.  “Uh-oh!  He is going to kiss me!  What am I

going to do?”  I was a little anxious and wasn’t sure I wanted a kiss yet, but it was

too late.  When Steve’s lips met mine, I felt the softness of rose petals brush my heart.  I

was lost in the tenderness of the moment.   

     After all the sweet kisses Steve said, “You are beautiful!  Do you know that?”  I

just looked into his eyes.  I didn’t know how to respond. 

     “Mom, did Dad really kiss you on the first date?  I didn’t think you should kiss until

you get married!” asked Stephanie in shock! 

     Christopher and Hannah giggled, as I nodded my head yes, smiling. 

     “What is wrong with that?” I teased. 

     “Oh, nothing!” Stephanie teased back. 

     “Eeee!” laughed the two younger siblings. 

     “What happened next?” asked Christopher.

     Your dad turned and started the car.  We drove back to Goodson.  I was quiet as

darkness began to fall.  I was pondering.  A flood of thoughts ran through my mind.  I

had never felt this way about someone before.  It was a little overwhelming.  Somehow I

knew in my heart that Steve would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. 

How can I possibly know this now for I hardly knew Steve?  I am not ready to get

married now!  Nevertheless, I knew.  

     All the while I was quietly pondering, Steve was thinking. “Uh-oh, I have frustrated

Teresa and she probably will not go on another date with me!”  About half way back to

my home, we picked up our conversation again.

     “Did you go out with dad again?” anxiously asked Hannah.

     “Hannah Banana!  Yes, Mom did!” giggled Christopher.

     “Oh, such a sweet story!” sighed Stephanie.

     “There is a lesson here for the three of you!” I informed.

     “Really? What?” asked Christopher.

     “Yes, there is.  Choosing who you marry and spend the rest of your life with is a

major decision.  A dear friend, in fact, she was like a grandmother to me,

shared a wise piece of information with me.  I treasured this wisdom.  Pray

and seek God’s will for the special person God has prepared for you to marry.  Trust God

with your life.  You see, riding home after the movie on our first date I recalled this

wisdom.  I decided to allow our relationship to stand the test of time.  I would get to

know Steve better and seek wisdom from God.”

What Do You Do?

One activity I greatly enjoy is meeting new people; I consider this a blessing, because

I can learn about their family, church, work place, and dreams.  I enjoy

sharing ideas and philosophies.  Many times, my new friends ask me about myself

and what I am doing with my life.  I am always excited to say that I am blessed with a

wonderful husband and three great kids that occupy most of my time.  However, in

between taking care of my family, I work on my fortune!

     I loved being a full time mother and home educator for 19 years.  Toward the

end of my home education experience, I decided to work outside the home to help

with college education for my oldest daughter.  “Are you working again today, Mom?”

asked my youngest daughter.  “Oh, you won’t be home tonight?” asked my oldest

daughter. 

     “Not again.  I have to cook!” my son said, venting his frustration.  Needless to say,

not being in control of my schedule was not working.  My family and I felt much

frustration until…..

     Years ago a great friend shared an awesome opportunity with my husband and myself! 

It has turned my life around.  We have saved thousands of dollars on everyday items my

family needs and we have earned thousands of dollars.  The savings alone has allowed

me to return to being a full time stay at home mom!  This company is also allowing me to

help my children with college tuition costs and replenish my husband’s retirement

account.  In fact, I am retiring my husband early! I can’t wait!

     The personal growth has been life changing.  Life, in general, pressed in on

me.  Worry, low self esteem, false guilt, and sadness had crept in over the years.  For the past three and a half years great authors such as Jim Rohn, Napoleon Hill, Joyce Myers, Andy Andrews, and Anthony Robbins have been my constant companions.  People at local, regional, and national meetings share their success and encourage me on my journey.  I listen to business and CDs everyday.  Today, I worry less and I recognize when I take on false guilt. I am confident in my abilities and I am happier.  This is priceless!  

     The personal growth did not stop with me; it is trickling on down to my

children.  I am able to encourage them to dream big and reach their goals.  It is such a

blessing to observe my daughter tell her friend, “Don’t say that!   That is ‘stinking

thinking’!”  It is a blessing to observe the personal growth in my children.

     My circle of friends is increasing.  I spend more time with friends who challenge me

and encourage me to be more.  I strongly desire to become more of the person that God has

made me to be!