Growing up in Polk County , Missouri included many, many days playing with my younger brother, Buddy, helping on the farm, school, and going to Calvary Missionary Baptist Church . As long as I could remember I loved going to church, and when we missed a Sunday, I was disappointed. I especially loved learning in Sunday school.
One evening I felt a tug in my heart to go to the altar. I did not know why? I didn’t want to go to church anymore. I did not know why? I just did not like feeling bad. The feeling initially happened during a summer revival. It stopped or weakened some on Sundays throughout that year.
The next year Calvary Missionary Baptist Church held a revival in May of 1969. My mother said, “Let’s go to Calvary ’s revival.” I said, “Okay”. We went several nights and after listening to the Evangelist Austin McGinnis and Pastor Alpha Redford, I became aware of my sad condition. I was under conviction. You see, Jesus Christ died for me up there on the cross. Hurting and fearful I did not want to believe it was for my sins that He suffered, and bled, and died. I procrastinated. My pride was getting in the way of what the Lord wanted me to do. Foolishly, I thought God’s people would laugh at me.
I battle this all week, until one night, the church had a testimony meeting. Hearing people share what God had done for them spoke to my heart. At the end of the service there was a time where we all shook hands. My feet were like lead, and my heart was so heavy and burdened that I felt I could not walk. I was trying my best to hide what was going on in my heart. I did not seek the Lord that night.
Driving home I thought I could die in an auto accident without the Lord. I could not sleep; I could die in my sleep. I made a decision that if I lived through the day I would go to the altar the next night. I struggled all day. I prayed.
I got dressed early and thirty minutes before time to leave some friends came. I thought, “Oh no, Mom won’t take me to church tonight!” Finally, the friends left and Mom said, “Let’s go.”
When we arrived at church I tried to sit on the end of the bench, but some people came in and I had to move over. I did not know how I was going to get around them when the altar call came. I thought the preaching would never end.
When the altar call came, my feet were heavy and it felt as if someone were holding my shoulders in place so I could not move. I thought that I must at least try, so I took one step after another. It became very dark. I could not see where I was going. I felt my way to the altar. I prayed a little. I didn’t know what to do so I sat up on the bench. The people told me to pray, so I knelt down again. I did this several times. Eventually, I felt the Lord telling me to pray out loud. How was I going to do that? I did not know how to pray! And the thought kept coming. People are going to laugh! I prayed out loud, “Lord, please save me!” I heard no one laughing! I just heard God’s people praying for me.
Suddenly, it seemed like the floor opened up and a huge burden fell out of my heart and rolled away. I felt peaceful. I heard Jesus say, “You are saved. You can get up now.” I looked up and told my Mother that I was saved. Everyone was so happy. I remember sitting on the bench singing and feeling so light and happy. We all shook hands and hugged. Everything seemed so bright. I felt so light. I thought I could just fly home.
I rode home not scared to die anymore. I remember lying in bed not scared to die in my sleep, and when I woke up in the morning I still felt wonderful. I am thankful to my m Mother for taking me to church and for my Father who did not stand in the way. I am grateful for all the testimonies, and prayers that went up for me.
I have been saved 42 years this past May 30, 2011. Wow! God has blessed me in many ways. I thank Him many times over for saving me, giving me a Godly husband and for saving our three children, Stephanie, Chris, and Hannah. I know God has many more blessing in store for me.